Still behind!

I am so glad that my friends that have recently had baby girls have not followed in my footsteps. I have been a horribe first time mother. You and I both thought that I would be so good at taking pictures of my precious little one. But for some reason I am horrible and I look back at the past months and am just so disappointed in myself! Every time I see something on a blog, Facebook, or even on Pinterest I start beating myself up about it and think...I am going to do soooo much better with our next baby! I had so many high expectations of myself about being a mom. I have been one those girls that really isn't "great" at anything...only "somewhat"good at alot of different piddly things. My whole life I have wanted to be a wife and a mother and I would say..."well, Courtney you will be Great at that." After getting married over 5 years ago I figured out that I was not a good wife at all...I am a horrible cleaner, I am messy, I don't like to cook, I am horrible at keeping up with laundry, and I don't iron. I have always looked at my self in the "June Cleaver" vacuuming with pearls on having dinner on the table when hubby got home kind of wife and I am in no way that lady! This is a sad realization for me. I had once again had high hopes of being a wonderful mother...and after 10 mos of being a mom...my hopes and dreams are starting to crash. Don't get me wrong...Maggie Lynn is well taken care of..she is always happy and healthy! I am just not the "Mom" I always thought I would be. The "great" mom would have the baby book completely filled out (I haven't written in it since ML was born),"she" would have pictures of her sweet angel every week/ month , "she" would have activities planned every week for baby, "she" would have a clean home where baby will flourish, "she" would teach baby all about Jesus and baby would know all the nursery songs (I don't even know any of the words to the nursery songs), "she" wouldn't have the TV on most of the day, "she" wouldn't get on facebook or pinterest- 'to get away', "she" would super be active and never lazy...and so on and so on! All these things would make a "Great" mom...The "Great" mom I always thought I would be. I absolutely love my baby girl. She is everything I have ever prayed for, dreamed of, and hoped for! Its just me...I am not great! Keith calls me Courtney downer (from SNL's Debbie Downer)sometimes and I agree. I am negative alot and I am coming to the realization that I am also a pessimist. I personally think that I always have extremely high hopes for things and most of the time they never measure up...is this a Pessimist?
Well on that note. I once again will promise to try harder about posting and taking pictures.