A New Beginning!

Well..
This week started pretty dim and depressing.
On Sunday I was filled with anger and sadness...why did I have to have a miscarriage...why did God let this happen. It made it pretty much impossible to enjoy worship on Sunday. I pretty much was surrounded by pregnancy and babies. This added to my realization that I had gained back and more of all the weight that I had worked so hard to loose had sent me into the worst depressed state. Not only was I fat but now that I was no longer pregnant I had no excuse. The pity party that I was throwing in my head left me in a miserable mood. I went to work on Monday with the worst attitude and bit off some of my co-workers heads...I was less than fun to be around.

The next day was a little better...we had some great friends invite us over for dinner that night so I was looking forward to hanging out with someone that didn't have kids but just loved us and wanted to hang out and make us laugh. We had a great time..the food was great, the glass of wine was awesome, and the company was amazing!

Wednesday...I stayed out to late...haha..I was tired! the sad part...I was dreading going to church that night(this is not normal...I love my church family)...I did not want to hear..everything is going to be fine...or..oh, Ive been there you will get through this. Nothing that anyone could say to me would make it better...or make my baby come back...I was just plain sad and tired!

Thursday...went to work..things are looking up...I am feeling better and am looking forward to spending the evening at home with my hubby and work on my projects. I made a some great enchiladas and made some cookies for dinner at Nick and Sheri's house...and made a baby bib...its the project that I had been wanting to do but couldn't bring my heart to do it....I made one and started on my second one but ran out of bias tape...can't wait to give the finished one to Jess tomorrow for baby Paxton that was coming the next day.

Friday...got up went to my final doctor appointment for my miscarriage...got the news that everything was clear and back to normal..it's over..my nightmare is finally over...I accepted that fact...he told us that we were clear to start trying again if we hadn't already...he looked up at me and I told him we already were...he said that was great! He patted me on the knee and said hopefully I'll see you in here real soon! After that...I ran some errands since I was in town and waited for Karlye to meet me so we could go to Muddy's cupcake shop...its great...everyone go there. When we were done..I met Sheri to run her errands and went to her Dr. appt. with Dr. Giddens...yep same doc I saw earlier that same day. After that...we went and met Paxton Adam Coile in the horsepital...he was so sweet and got to hold him for a while...I think this helped me more than anyone will know....Dinner..was over at Nick and Sheri's and we had a good time...came home and got a great nights rest!

Saturday...its still early...who knows what is in store! ...well I am going to go find JoAnn's fabric store to see if they have that bias tape since no one else does...and I am going out with some girlfriends tonight...things are looking pretty good.

I can't promise that I won't cry...but I am feeling closer to normal.